Regret is the past crippling the future.
~From my new book Letting Go; Seeing Regret from God’s Perspective
I doubt if there’s a person on the planet who doesn’t struggle with some level of regret. If you have children – you can count on it! Parents in all stages of child rearing lament over things they did or didn’t do right. Some feel that their mistakes still negatively affect their children today. And while in some cases that is true, the enemy is relentless in condemning parents when their children make wrong or foolish choices.
Consider this, God was a perfect Father. He placed his children (Adam and Eve) in a perfect environment – and they still blew it!
At times there are genuine reasons for feeling regret. Parents do make mistakes and at best, all are far from perfect! When possible, mistakes and failures should be discussed with our children. Some of the most powerful relational times with my children have been those times when I was vulnerable and asked their forgiveness regarding my own past or present failure. For me, those failures were huge – even though, in most cases, my children responded with “Mom, of course I forgive you, I don’t even remember that and it isn’t a big deal!” Unfortunately, they tend to remember things that I have forgotten or have no memory at all.
Regardless of whether my kids remember or not, those events were monumental to me and brought tears of repentance from both my eyes and heart. Learning to forgive myself and let go of regret has sometimes been the hardest thing I’ve done — especially those times when I see the fruit of my mistakes being lived out. However, some of those mistakes are not mine to shoulder and I need to let them go.
Each person is responsible to God for their own life and choices they have made – not their parents, not God, or others. It is impossible to move forward until we own our own stuff and stop blaming others. Individuals must take full responsibility for their own choices that brought them to the place they find themselves today. Eleanor Roosevelt said, “I am who I am today because of the choices I made yesterday.” Programming created many of the choices of the past but the choices you make today create the programs of the future.
Remember, the enemy comes to condemn you and make you feel powerless to make needed changes. In contrast, the Lord brings conviction about the mistakes we have made and empowers us with wisdom to correct the mistakes.
Ask God to help you identify areas of regret and leave it behind. Receive forgiveness for past mistakes and be empowered by the Holy Spirit to embrace the future with new vision.
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Book News Update:
You can now download my new book Letting Go; Seeing Regret from God’s Perspective on itunes, Barnes and Noble, and Amazon.